🐯 ENTER SQUEAK — THE TIGER WHO MAKES TINY SOUNDS
Before anyone could process the lion cuddling Ethan, a tiger
padded into view.
White.
Blue eyes.
Majestic.
Terrifying.
And then it squeaked.
Like a rubber duck.
“squeeep.”
Ray: “That’s it. I’m quitting reality.”
Amy: “Why does your tiger… squeak?”
Ethan: “We don’t talk about it.”
Squeak trotted over to Lucy and nudged her hand gently.
Lucy instantly melted.
“OHMYGOSH HE’S ADORABLE.”
Ray whispered to Amy:
“Lucy is bonding with a tiger. Should we… stop her?”
Amy: “We can’t stop her. She’s chosen.”
🐊 ENTER CRUNCH — THE
GIANT ALLIGATOR WHO IS FAR TOO HAPPY
They walked inside the mansion.
There was a fountain.
A chandelier.
A staircase big enough for a horse.
And then—
THUMP
THUMP
THUMP
Something HUGE was coming.
A giant alligator — green, long, armored — slid across the
marble floor like a lazy couch potato.
Ray: “Ethan…”
Ethan: “Yeah?”
Ray: “Is that what I think it is?”
Ethan: “…Yep.”
Ray: “THAT’S AN ALLIGATOR.”
Ethan: “Yep.”
Amy: “IN YOUR HOUSE.”
Ethan: “Yep.”
Crunch, the alligator, opened his big mouth.
Everyone froze.
Crunch gently chomped on Ray’s shoe.
Not biting.
Just holding it.
Like a chew toy.
Ray: “He’s… he’s tasting my foot.”
Ethan: “Nah he just likes shoes.”
Lucy: “IS THAT BETTER OR WORSE??”
Amy: “WORSE!! DEFINITELY WORSE!!”
Crunch waddled away with Ray’s shoe still in his mouth.
Ray: “THAT WAS MY FAVORITE SHOE!!”
Lucy: “Well… it’s Crunch’s now.”
LLoC Quotes
“That’s it. I’m quitting reality.”...“Why does your tiger… squeak?”...“We don’t talk about it.”
“Lucy is bonding with a tiger. Should we… stop her?”...“We can’t stop her. She’s chosen.”
“He’s… he’s tasting my foot.”... “Nah he just likes shoes.”
“THAT WAS MY FAVORITE SHOE!!”...“Well… it’s Crunch’s now.”
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