Ethan strutted around the classroom like a comedian on tour.
“Look at Ray — man walks into the room like he’s buffering in real life. You
talk slower than Windows XP starting up!”
Ray clapped slowly. “Wow. You’ve been saving that joke since
2005, huh?”
Ethan grinned. “Yeah, and it aged better than your haircut!”
Ray touched his hair. “My mom cut this!”
“Exactly,” Ethan said. “And she was trying to help the
environment by recycling bad style!”
Everyone exploded with laughter.
Ray narrowed his eyes. “You think you’re funny, huh?”
Ethan winked. “Funny, handsome, intelligent… one outta three
isn’t bad.”
Ray stood up. “Alright, comedian, you got jokes. But your
math test score was so low the calculator filed a restraining order.”
Ethan leaned on the desk and grinned. “That’s because my
intelligence is like WiFi — not everyone can connect.”
Ray replied, “Yeah, because there’s no signal!”
Ethan gasped, clutched his chest, and shouted, “That’s cold,
bro! But not as cold as your love life.”
“OHHHHHH!” yelled the class.
Even Ms. Collins whispered, “He got you there.”
Ray tried to stay calm. “At least I have standards.”
Ethan smiled like an evil genius. “Yeah, but they’re
underground.”
The class was in chaos. One kid fell out of his chair.
Ray tried to regain control. “You act like you’re cool, but
you once called the principal ‘mom’ by accident.”
Ethan shrugged. “True — and she still likes me more than
you.”
Ray was speechless.
Ethan continued, pacing dramatically. “Bro, every time you
talk, Siri turns herself off. Even AI can’t handle your boring energy.”
Ray shot back, “You’re one to talk. You once got lost in a
revolving door.”
“That door was spinning too fast, man!” Ethan
shouted. “It was like time travel for idiots — and I survived!”
The teacher finally said, “Alright boys, that’s enough.”
Ethan raised his hand. “But Ms. Collins, we’re doing educational
roasting.”
She frowned. “Explain.”
Ethan said proudly, “It’s verbal agility training. Builds
confidence, vocabulary, and humility… for Ray.”
The class roared again.
LLoC Quotes
“My mom cut this!”...“Exactly...And she was trying to help the environment by recycling bad style!”“You think you’re funny, huh?”... “Funny, handsome, intelligent… one outta three isn’t bad.”
“That door was spinning too fast, man!...It was like time travel for idiots — and I survived!”
“But Ms. Collins, we’re doing educational roasting....It’s verbal agility training. Builds confidence, vocabulary, and humility… for Ray.”
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