Survive The School Farm Or Starve 1

 

GORDON RAMSAY’S COOKING CLASS: “SURVIVE THE SCHOOL FARM OR STARVE.”

(Real cooking science + chaos + wild stupidity from Ray & Ethan.)

The morning after Coach Rex’s “Trauma PE,” the four kids dragged themselves into the Home Economics room, expecting a calm, normal cooking lesson.

They were wrong.

The classroom lights flickered.

A dramatic gust of wind blew the door open.

And in walked—

GORDON RAMSAY

in full MasterChef judging mode, arms crossed, eyes blazing, apron crisp enough to cut diamonds.

Ray: “OH MY— IS THAT—”

Ethan: “THE ANGRY PANCAKE MAN?!”

Amy rubbed her face. “Please don’t call him that.”
Lucy nodded. “Please don’t call him anything.”

Ramsay slapped a piece of raw steak on each of their cutting boards. It echoed like a gunshot.

“GOOD MORNING, CLASS,” he barked.
“Today you will cook a dish using this meat… and ANY OTHER INGREDIENTS YOU CAN FIND IN THE SCHOOL FARM.”

The class gasped.

Ray gasped harder. “THE SCHOOL HAS A FARM?!”
Ethan: “WE HAVE FARMS HERE? WHERE? HOW?!”

Amy whispered, “We walked past it every day.”
Lucy whispered, “There’s a giant sign that says ‘SCHOOL FARM.’”

Ramsay continued:

“You will venture out into the farm, like survivalists.
Forage. Hunt ingredients. Collect herbs. Vegetables. Eggs.
YOU MUST BRING THEM BACK ALIVE—NO EXCUSES.”

Ray: “I can bring back Ethan, right?”
Ethan: “HEY—”

Ramsay pointed at both boys.

“And YOU TWO—
NO—
ABSOLUTELY NO—
EATING ANYTHING OUT THERE.”

Ray: “What if it’s edible?”
Ramsay: “I SAID NO!”
Ethan: “What if it’s delicious?”
Ramsay: “NO!!!”

He slammed a giant timer on the counter.

“You have 40 minutes to gather ingredients AND cook a dish.
WINNERS GET AN A+
LOSERS GET REFRIED HUMILIATION.”

Ray whispered to Ethan, “What’s humiliation?”
Ethan whispered back, “A type of seasoning, I think.”

Amy and Lucy silently prayed.

---

LLoC Quotes

Ray: “OH MY— IS THAT—”
Ethan: “THE ANGRY PANCAKE MAN?!”
Amy: “Please don’t call him that.”
Lucy: “Please don’t call him anything.”

“WINNERS GET AN A+, LOSERS GET REFRIED HUMILIATION.”... “What’s humiliation?”... “A type of seasoning, I think.”