🔪 ROUND 2: MAIN DISH — THE ROASTINGS BEGIN
The judges recovered.
Barely.
Gordon slammed his hand on the table.
“Right. Main course. IMPRESS US. And don’t—DON’T—build anything tall!”
Ray whispered, “We build something tall.”
Ethan nodded. “Obviously.”
Amy — Chicken Alfredo
Creamy. Properly seasoned. Pasta cooked al dente.
Nick: “Amazing job. Seriously delicious.”
Uncle Roger: “Yes! Finally white people cooking not raw!”
Gordon: “Well done, young lady.”
Amy: smug smirk activated.
Lucy — Beef Stir Fry
Lucy used a wok like she was born doing it.
Uncle Roger stood up.
“Haiyaaaa— SHE CAN USE WOK BETTER THAN HALF MY NIECE!”
Nick tasted it. “Perfect balance. Great technique.”
Gordon nodded. “I’d serve this in a restaurant.”
Lucy: sigh of relief “I’m safe.”
Then the disasters approached.
RAY & ETHAN — “THE MEAT VOLCANO”
An abomination.
A mound of meat shaped like a volcano.
Filled with boiling gravy.
Powered by a hairdryer they stole from the bathroom.
Ray: “READY FOR ERUPTION!”
Ethan: “THREE—TWO—ONE—KABOOM!”
They poured mentos soda into the gravy volcano.
It exploded.
A geyser of gravy shot 8 feet into the air, hitting:
- Nick
in the chest
- Gordon
in the face
- Uncle
Roger directly in the soul
Uncle Roger: “WHY. YOU. DO. THIS.”
Gordon: “THIS LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE BLEW UP A COW!”
Nick: “Guys… I think the gravy went in my mouth.”
Ray: “So you tasted it?”
Ethan: “WOOOOOO we got a judge to try our food!”
Nick: “NO I DID NOT TRY—!!!”
🔥 THE ROAST BATTLE BEGINS
The judges snapped.
Gordon Ramsay (pointing at Ray & Ethan):
“You two cook like YouTube prank channels!”
Ethan (fired up):
“At least we’re entertaining! You scream so much you sound
like my mom when I forget homework!”
Gordon:
“That’s because YOU COOK LIKE YOUR HOMEWORK!”
Uncle Roger (shaking his head):
“Haiyaa… your cooking so bad even your pets cook better!”
Ray:
“At least my food has flavor. Your hair? Big MSG energy.”
Everyone gasped.
Lucy whispered, “Ray’s dead.”
Amy: “Rest in peace, idiot.”
Uncle Roger put a hand to his heart.
“This boy roasted me harder than my wok.”
Nick DiGiovanni (trying to be nice):
“Guys, maybe don’t insult the judges—”
Ethan: “Nick calm down, you’re like… 90% nice guy energy.”
Nick: “Is that a compliment?”
Ray: “Yeah but like, soft nice. Like a marshmallow.”
Nick: “…I’ll take it.”
LLoC Quotes
“Right. Main course. IMPRESS US. And don’t—DON’T—build anything tall!”
“THIS LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE BLEW UP A COW!”
Ethan: “At least we’re entertaining! You scream so much you sound like my mom when I forget homework!”
Gordon: “That’s because YOU COOK LIKE YOUR HOMEWORK!”
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