They entered a
command room with a huge screen listing tasks:
- ✔ Save cat
- ✔ Roast tourists
- ✔ Record lines for next
Transformers movie
- ✔ Clean beach
- ✔ Recycle old Decepticon
armor
- ❌ Conquer Earth
- ❌ Destroy the Autobots
- ❌ Build giant death cannon
for fun
- ✔ Repaint death cannon to
look like a children’s ride
- ✔ Test the children’s ride
(Results: 38% more screaming than expected)
Amy pointed.
“Wait—why does ‘Conquer Earth’ have an X?”
Megs looked
embarrassed.
“THE HUMANS HAVE…
TOO MANY PAPERWORK REQUIREMENTS.”
He growled.
“IF YOU WANT TO ‘CONQUER’ ANYTHING NOWADAYS, YOU MUST FILL
OUT FORMS A-23, B-17, Z-88, AND APPLY FOR ENVIRONMENTAL APPROVAL.”
He clenched his fists.
“THE BUREAUCRACY HAS DEFEATED US.”
SECTION 4 — MEGATRON’S FINAL MESSAGE
Megatron brought them to a balcony overlooking the entire
base.
Decepticons were:
- rescuing
a kitten
- sweeping
floors
- arguing
about recycling
- filming
a movie scene
- doing
yoga
- practicing
roasts for Universal guests
Optimus waved politely at them from the lounge.
Megatron spoke dramatically:
“Children…
We Decepticons are no longer an army of destruction.
We are—”
Ray raised his hand. “A bunch of giant robot janitors?”
Ethan added, “Who do stand-up comedy for money?”
Lucy: “And yoga.”
Amy: “And community service.”
Megatron sighed so loudly the walls vibrated.
“…Yes.”
Optimus placed a calming hand on his shoulder.
“They mean it lovingly.”
Ray shouted, “MEGATRON! YOU’RE MY FAVOURITE MOVIE
CHARACTER!”
Ethan added, “AND MY FAVOURITE CAT RESCUER!”
Lucy: “And you’re surprisingly responsible.”
Amy: “You run an impressive humanitarian operation.”
Megatron whispered loudly:
“THIS IS ALL ONLY POSSIBLE BECAUSE WE SIGNED A PEACE TREATY.”
Optimus added:
“AND BECAUSE WE BOTH HATE PAPERWORK.”
They clinked energon cubes in solidarity.
Slowly…
A tiny smile formed.
“Children…
Welcome to the Decepticon family…. THE GALAXY’S MOST CHAOTIC, UNDERPAID,
OVERRATED, OCCASIONALLY HELPFUL TEAM!””
Then an explosion went off behind them.
Ray: “Was that us?”
Starscream yelled from the hallway:
“I TOLD YOU THOSE WERE NOT INDOORS-SAFE FIREWORKS—AAAAHHHH—”
Boom.
Smoke.
Coughing noises.
Megatron didn’t even turn around.
“AND THAT,” he told the kids, “IS A NORMAL TUESDAY.”
LLoC Quotes
“Wait—why does ‘Conquer Earth’ have an X?”...“THE HUMANS HAVE… TOO MANY PAPERWORK REQUIREMENTS.”
“IF YOU WANT TO ‘CONQUER’ ANYTHING NOWADAYS, YOU MUST FILL OUT FORMS A-23, B-17, Z-88, AND APPLY FOR ENVIRONMENTAL APPROVAL.”...“THE BUREAUCRACY HAS DEFEATED US.”
🧠 LLoC Writing Tricks shows the fun secrets behind each story — how words,
timing, and imagination turn chaos into great writing! Click this Link:
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