**MEANWHILE…
THE DECEPTICONS’ ISSUE IS THE COMPLETE OPPOSITE**
While the Autobots were stubborn but fixable…
The Decepticons in the background were:
- accidentally
setting things on fire
- wrestling
each other for no reason
- tripping
over their own shadows
- ignoring
80% of the rules
- arguing
about who stepped on who
- exploding
a trash can just “to see what happens”
Lucy pointed behind her.
“And THAT is why they took longer.”
Megatron crossed his arms dramatically.
“We improved!”
“Yes,” Amy said.
“At the speed of four brain cells per hour.”
AUTOBOTS REALIZING THE TRUTH
Ironhide asked,
“So… we are not as… disastrous as the Decepticons?”
Ethan nodded.
“But you’re way more stubborn. Like… SO stubborn your brains
could be used as building material.”
Jazz laughed.
“Facts.”
Optimus raised a hand.
“Children. We thank you—”
Ray jumped.
“No speeches!”
Optimus shut his mouth immediately.
Megatron choked on air.
“He… he obeyed! The prophecy is true!”
THE AUTOBOTS OUTPERFORM THE DECEPTICONS
After one hour of lessons:
- Autobots
learned formations
- Bumblebee
stopped humming (briefly)
- Wheeljack
stopped exploding
- Ironhide
learned door etiquette
- Ratchet
stopped yelling at the toaster
- Jazz
only danced during breaks
- Optimus
stopped dramatic monologues
Meanwhile, the Decepticons took 43 tries to stand in a
straight line.
Ray whispered to Ethan,
“They’re like… golden retrievers with weapons.”
Megatron overheard.
“…accurate.”
BIG MOMENT: THE KIDS DECLARE THE RESULTS
The four Mini-Commanders stood in front like teachers
grading two very large, very dramatic classes.
Amy announced,
“Autobots:
Fixable, but stubborn.”
Lucy added,
“Decepticons:
Not stubborn…
Just constantly blowing something up.”
Ethan wrote on the board:
AUTOBOTS = ‘We Know Everything’ Problem
DECEPTICONS = ‘We Chaos Everything’ Problem
Ray concluded,
“But both factions are finally learning.
Congrats. You’re all less dumb than before.”
Both sides applauded.
Starscream cried.
Bumblebee played dramatic victory music.
Optimus nodded solemnly.
Megatron whispered, “I am so proud.”
LLoC Quotes
“We improved!”...“Yes,” ...“At the speed of four brain cells per hour.”
“So… we are not as… disastrous as the Decepticons?”...“But you’re way more stubborn. Like… SO stubborn your brains could be used as building material.”
“They’re like… golden retrievers with weapons.”...“…accurate.”
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