“AUTOBOTS: PLEASE FIX US TOO (WE’RE A MESS).”
Where the kids learn that the Autobots’
real problem isn’t violence… it’s STUBBORNNESS.
THE PEACE MEETING THAT TURNED INTO A SCHOOL COUNSELLING
SESSION
Optimus Prime arrived at the Decepticon base with Bumblebee,
Arcee, Jazz, Ironhide, Wheeljack, Ratchet, and an energy level equivalent to a
kindergarten class before nap time.
Megatron crossed his arms proudly as the kids stood beside
him like four tiny generals.
Optimus raised a hand.
“Megatron… we request assistance.”
Ray’s jaw dropped.
Ethan whispered, “Are we… therapists now?”
Lucy folded her arms.
Amy nodded like a disappointed teacher.
“What seems to be the problem?”
Optimus sighed deeply.
“Your Mini-Commanders fixed the Decepticons in 48 hours.
Meanwhile, we—”
He pointed behind him.
And the kids witnessed:
- Bumblebee
tripping on his own wheels
- Wheeljack’s
invention exploding into banana pudding
- Ironhide
stuck in a doorway
- Jazz
dancing during a serious mission briefing
- Ratchet
yelling at a toaster
- Arcee
trying to organize them and failing badly
Lucy slowly turned back to Optimus.
“…You need help.”
Optimus nodded with the sadness of a dad who lost control
during a family outing.
“PLEASE FIX US” — AUTOBOT EDITION
The Autobots formed a perfect line.
Not because they were disciplined.
Because Amy threatened to hold up a “MESSY TEAM” sign.
Ray clapped his hands.
“Okay! We begin with the diagnosis.”
**PROBLEM 1
AUTOBOTS THINK THEY KNOW EVERYTHING**
Ray asked, “Who here thinks they are already perfect?”
Every Autobot raised their hand.
Ethan burst out laughing.
Lucy sighed.
Amy rubbed her temples so hard she nearly drilled a hole in her skull.
“That,” she said, “is the problem.”
LESSON 1: STOP BUTTING HEADS
Optimus and Megatron immediately butted heads.
Literally.
Both leaders leaned in, glaring, touching forehead plates
like angry goats.
Amy yelled,
“HEY. THIS IS NOT A HEADBUTT MEETING.”
Lucy added,
“You two do this every five minutes!”
Megatron muttered, “He started it.”
Optimus replied, “No, YOU—”
Ray bonked both their helmets with a book.
CLANG.
“STOP.”
They both froze.
Autobots and Decepticons gasped.
“THEY LISTENED TO HIM,” Bumblebee whispered.
LLoC Quotes
“Who here thinks they are already perfect?”...“That...is the problem.”
“HEY. THIS IS NOT A HEADBUTT MEETING.”...“You two do this every five minutes!”... “He started it.”...“No, YOU—”
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