🥂 CHAPTER 1: The Disaster Reservation
Amy and Lucy made a huge mistake.
They invited Ray and Ethan to dinner.
Not McNugget Town.
Not Burger Blaster 3000.
A five-star gourmet restaurant called Le Magnifique du Cuisine Fancy
Royale de Expensive Something.
Lucy smoothed her dress. “Okay, this is classy. No chaos. No
burping. No catching food mid-air.”
Amy added, “And for the love of God, nobody yell ‘THIS IS
BUSSIN’ in front of the chef.”
Ethan and Ray stood outside the glowing restaurant doors in
cheap suits that looked suspiciously like school uniforms.
Ethan squinted at the sign. “What’s
‘cuisine’? Is that like, spicy?”
Ray nodded sagely. “I think it’s French for ‘food but smaller.’”
Amy already regretted existing.
🕯️ CHAPTER 2: The Fancy
Entrance
The doorman opened the door and said, “Bonsoir.”
Ethan panicked. “BRO HE SAID BONSAI! HE KNOWS KARATE!”
Ray jumped into a defensive stance. “Protect the
breadsticks!”
Amy facepalmed so hard she saw stars. “He said good
evening!”
The waiter led them to a white tablecloth table. Candles
flickered. Classical music played. Everything was elegant.
Then Ethan sneezed—directly into the candle—snuffing it out.
The waiter froze. “Sir, that candle cost—”
“—More than my dignity?” Ethan asked.
Lucy hissed, “Just. Sit. Down.”
🧀 CHAPTER 3: The Menu
Meltdown
The menu was entirely in French.
Ethan held it upside down. “Bro, I think I just ordered a lawn
chair.”
Ray squinted. “What’s ‘soupe du jour’? Sounds like soap.”
Amy explained patiently, “It means soup of the day.”
Ray nodded seriously. “Then I’ll take the soap. Extra
bubbly.”
Lucy buried her face in her napkin.
Ethan pointed to something fancy. “What’s this ‘escargot’
thing?”
Amy said, “Snails.”
Ethan dropped the menu like it bit him. “THEY EAT GARY FROM
SPONGEBOB?!”
Ray gasped. “That’s barbaric. I’ll take two.”
LLoC Quotes
“Okay, this is classy. No chaos. No burping. No catching food mid-air.”
“What’s ‘cuisine’? Is that like, spicy?”... “I think it’s French for ‘food but smaller.’”
“Sir, that candle cost—”...“—More than my dignity?” ...“Just. Sit. Down.”
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