A week in the life of two geniuses and one exhausted Amy 1

 

Chapter 1 — The Breakfast of Regret

It all started one Monday morning when Ray had what he proudly called a “genius idea.”
“Bro,” he whispered to Ethan, holding up a bottle of ketchup like it was a holy relic, “what if… we make ketchup-flavored cereal?”

Ethan’s eyes widened. “Bro… that’s actually… brilliant.”

“No, Ethan,” came a voice dripping with sarcasm. “That’s not brilliant. That’s how you get banned from the cafeteria.”

Amy appeared behind them like a demon summoned by stupidity. She leaned on their table with a grin sharp enough to cut steel.

“Let me guess,” she said. “You two geniuses think ketchup counts as a fruit because it’s made from tomatoes?”

Ray gasped. “Wait—it doesn’t?”

Ethan nodded solemnly. “Yeah, I thought it was part of the fruit group.”
Amy blinked twice, whispered “Lord help me,” and walked away before she lost brain cells.

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Chapter 2 — The Skeleton Transfer Student

Their next “big plan” came during science class. Mr. Jenkins had left the room for two minutes—two minutes too long.

Ray was staring at the skeleton model when inspiration struck.

“Ethan,” he whispered. “Let’s prank everyone. We’ll put clothes on the skeleton and pretend it’s a new student.”

Five minutes later, the class was screaming because “Greg the Skeleton” was now wearing sunglasses, a hoodie, and a name tag that said “Kyle.”

When Mr. Jenkins returned, he found Ray arguing with the skeleton.

“I told you to stop stealing my pencils, Kyle!”
Ethan was beside him, shaking his head. “Bro, he’s not listening. I think he’s mad.”

Amy had her phone out, recording the entire disaster. “I’m posting this on TikTok,” she said. “Title: ‘Two Idiots Argue With Calcium Man.’”

It got 1.3 million views.

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Chapter 3 — The Mystery Sandwich

Ray brings a sandwich of unknown origin. Ethan takes a bite. Amy witnesses evolution go backwards.

 At lunch, things didn’t improve.

 Ray had brought a “mystery sandwich.” It was mystery because even he didn’t know what was in it. “It’s either tuna or old yogurt,” he said cheerfully, unwrapping it like a gift from hell.

 Ethan sniffed it and instantly regretted existing. “Bro, that smells like depression and regret.”

 Amy sat across from them, sipping her juice box like a queen watching peasants fight over dirt.

“Please tell me you’re not going to eat that,” she said.
“Of course I am,” Ray said proudly. “Waste not, want not!”

He took a bite. His face froze. His soul left his body.

“What… what is that?” Amy asked, leaning forward.
Ray whispered, “Regret.”

Ethan, being the supportive friend he was, took a bite too. “Tastes like… battery acid… but worse.”

Amy shook her head. “You two are what happens when evolution takes a coffee break.”

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LLoC Quotes

Amy appeared behind them like a demon summoned by stupidity....walked away before she lost brain cells.

Ray brings a sandwich of unknown origin. Ethan takes a bite. Amy witnesses evolution go backwards.

He said cheerfully, unwrapping it like a gift from hell.

Ethan sniffed it and instantly regretted existing. “Bro, that smells like depression and regret.”

He took a bite. His face froze. His soul left his body.