“WEEKENDS, ROBOTS, AND THE DECISION TO STOP MONITORING CHILDREN.”
Weekends used to mean cartoons, homework procrastination,
and asking parents for snacks.
Not anymore.
For Ray, Ethan, Amy, and Lucy, weekends now meant one thing:
Transformers Headquarters. Again.
1. WEEKEND VISITS: THE DECEPTIKIDS BECOME WEEKLY
CONSULTANTS
Every Saturday morning, while other kids slept in, the four
of them entered the HQ through a completely normal-looking janitor closet
behind the school gym.
The door scanned their eyes.
The floor scanned their footsteps.
A voice announced:
“DECEPTIKIDS ACCESS GRANTED. PLEASE DO NOT TEACH
STARSCREAM BAD HABITS.”
Ray grinned. “Too late.”
Inside, the robots had prepared a full agenda like it was a
corporate meeting.
LESSON ONE: “HOW TO DO MISSIONS WITHOUT BLOWING
EVERYTHING UP”
Megatron stood proudly beside a screen titled:
MISSION OBJECTIVE: SAVE CAT FROM TREE
Previous method:
- Shake
tree
- Fire
warning shot
- Tree
explodes
- Cat
survives but emotionally damaged
Lucy crossed her arms.
“No lasers.”
Starscream raised a finger. “But what if the tree deserves
it?”
Amy shook her head. “Use a ladder. Or… climb.”
The Decepticons gasped.
“CLIMB?” Soundwave whispered.
Ray demonstrated by scaling a small training tower.
“See? No explosions. Cat safe.”
Megatron stared.
“…This is revolutionary.”
LESSON TWO: “HUMAN LOGIC”
Ethan stood before a group of robots holding flashcards.
“If a human screams, it does NOT mean ‘attack.’
If a human runs, it does NOT mean ‘chase.’
If a human cries, it does NOT mean ‘laser gently.’”
Shockwave’s visor flickered.
“ERROR… HUMAN BEHAVIOR IS… COMPLICATED.”
Ethan nodded wisely. “Same.”
LLoC Quotes
“DECEPTIKIDS ACCESS GRANTED. PLEASE DO NOT TEACH STARSCREAM BAD HABITS.”... “Too late.”
“No lasers.”... “But what if the tree deserves it?”
“CLIMB?” ...“See? No explosions. Cat safe.”...“…This is revolutionary.”
“ERROR… HUMAN BEHAVIOR IS… COMPLICATED.”... “Same.”
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