MISSION PART 2: THE STEALTH RUN (WHERE THE DECEPTICONS ALWAYS GET CAUGHT)
“Kids,” Megatron said stiffly, “the next phase is stealth.
But… we Decepticons are too large, too powerful, too—”
“You guys literally stomp everywhere,” Lucy said. “It’s like
trying to sneak around with a marching band.”
She handed out simple human items:
- Sneakers
- Black
hoodies
- A
reminder to not yell “DECEPTICONS, ATTACK!” every five seconds
Starscream stared at the sneakers.
“WHAT ARE THESE CLOTH RITUAL OBJECTS?!”
“They’re shoes,” Lucy said. “For not clanking like a
garbage truck.”
The kids led the stealth run.
Every time a Decepticon tried something overly dramatic…
Rumble: “SHOULD I EXPLODE THAT WALL?”
Amy: “No, just open the door.”
She turns the knob.
Rumble gasps like she performed ancient forbidden magic.
Frenzy: “SHALL I JAM THE SECURITY SYSTEM?”
Ethan: “You mean this?”
He flashes a security card he took from the lobby desk.
Frenzy falls over.
Starscream: “MAY I PERFORM A DYNAMIC ENTR—”
Ray: “No.”
Starscream sulked.
Using nothing but common sense, the kids bypassed every
security point the Decepticons had failed at for years.
Megatron stared at them like they were prophecy children.
MISSION PART 3: THE FINAL OBJECTIVE
Finally they reached the Autobot central relay.
Megatron announced proudly:
“THIS IS THE MOST HEAVILY GUARDED, STRATEGIC—”
The door was unlocked.
Ray pushed it open with one finger.
Inside was a giant glowing core with a label:
“IF THIS BREAKS, PLEASE CALL TECH SUPPORT.
— Optimus”
Amy just took a photo.
“This is hilarious. They’re worse than you.”
Megatron wasn’t sure if he should be offended or relieved.
MISSION COMPLETED
Time taken by Decepticons (past 12 years): FAIL
Time taken by 4 kids today: 11 minutes 49 seconds
Starscream collapsed dramatically.
Megatron placed a hand on Ethan’s shoulder.
“…Teach us. Please.”
Ethan smiled.
“We’ll make you less stupid. That’s our promise.”
LLoC Quotes
“You guys literally stomp everywhere,” ...“It’s like trying to sneak around with a marching band.”
“…Teach us. Please.”...“We’ll make you less stupid. That’s our promise.”
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