Chapter 2: “Scientific Success.”
So that afternoon, they went to Ethan’s garage. Ethan put on
goggles upside down. “Safety first!”
Ray facepalmed. “Ethan, your goggles are on your mouth.”
“I’m protecting my words,” Ethan said proudly.
Ray muttered, “You should protect the world from your
words.”
Ethan mixed baking soda, vinegar, and red dye into a bottle.
“Behold! Volcano 3000!”
Ray took a step back. “Ethan, are you sure—”
Too late. The bottle erupted like a ketchup apocalypse. Red
foam blasted the ceiling, the walls, and Ray’s brand-new hoodie.
Ethan cheered. “It works!”
Ray stared at him, dripping red foam. “Congratulations. You
invented embarrassment in liquid form.”
The next day at school, Ethan bragged to everyone about
their “scientific success.”
Ray whispered, “We made your mom’s laundry cry.”
Ethan ignored him. “So I was thinking, next we test
gravity.”
“You already test gravity,” Ray said. “Every time you
trip on air.”
Ethan grinned. “That’s called kinetic creativity.”
Ray sighed. “That’s called being stupid at high speed.”
Chapter 3: “FOR SCIENCE!”
Later in gym, Ethan tried to impress everyone by doing a
backflip. He jumped, screamed “FOR SCIENCE!” — and landed flat on his back.
The coach rushed over. “You okay, son?”
Ethan groaned. “Did… did I break the floor?”
Ray, holding in laughter, said, “No, but the floor broke up
with you.”
At lunch, Ethan limped over to the table with a bandage on
his elbow and a smile on his face. “Bro, I think I discovered a new law of
physics: If you believe hard enough, you can fly.”
Ray sipped his drink. “You discovered the law of stupidity
squared.”
Ethan pouted. “You never believe in my dreams.”
“Your dreams,” Ray said, “include opening a restaurant
called ‘Mac & Screams.’”
“It’s catchy!” Ethan protested.
“It’s concerning,” Ray replied.
Then Ethan stood on the cafeteria table and shouted, “Ladies
and gentlemen! I will now demonstrate the Ethan Maneuver!”
Ray shouted, “Sit down before the janitor calls animal
control again!”
Ethan ignored him and tried to juggle three apples. One
immediately hit him in the face. Another bounced into the principal’s soup.
The entire cafeteria erupted in laughter.
Ray stood up and shouted, “Give it up for Apple Idiot!”
Ethan, holding an apple against his bruised forehead,
muttered, “At least I tried.”
“Yeah,” Ray said. “You tried to turn your face into a fruit basket.”
LLoC Quotes
“Ethan, your goggles are on your mouth.”...“I’m protecting my words,”... “You should protect the world from your words.”
“Behold! Volcano 3000!”... “Ethan, are you sure—”...“It works!”... “Congratulations. You invented embarrassment in liquid form.”
“Did… did I break the floor?”... “No, but the floor broke up with you.”
“Bro, I think I discovered a new law of physics: If you believe hard enough, you can fly.”...“You discovered the law of stupidity squared.”
“Ladies and gentlemen! I will now demonstrate the Ethan Maneuver!”...Ray shouted, “Sit down before the janitor calls animal control again!”
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