Welcome to the most chaotic, ridiculous, brain-cell-destroying birthday in human history.
It’s Ethan’s Birthday — which means nothing will go right, logic will
evaporate, and fire extinguishers will cry.
Guests: Ray, Amy, and Lucy (who, once again, regret every
life choice that brought them here).
Buckle up.
This is “Ethan’s Birthday: The Day the Universe Gave Up.”
🎉 ETHAN’S BIRTHDAY: THE
DAY THE UNIVERSE GAVE UP 🎉
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEETHAN woke up at 6:00 a.m. with
one thought:
“Today… I am unstoppable.”
He leapt out of bed, immediately tripped over his socks,
rolled into the wall, and yelled,
“THE FLOOR ATTACKED ME FIRST!”
Ray walked in wearing a party hat… on his chin.
“Happy birthday, bro! I made breakfast!”
Ethan looked at the “breakfast.” It was burnt cereal.
Ethan blinked. “How do you burn cereal?”
Ray shrugged. “Science.”
Then Amy and Lucy arrived. Amy looked around the disaster
zone that was Ethan’s kitchen.
“...You’ve been awake for ten minutes.”
Ethan proudly spread his arms. “And accomplished chaos
already!”
🎈 Chapter 1: Decorations
of Doom
Lucy tried to hang balloons. Ray helped by using a leaf
blower instead of his hands.
Balloons flew into the ceiling fan. The fan exploded into
confetti. Ethan clapped. “PERFECT. Party starter!”
Amy facepalmed. “This is a safety hazard.”
Ethan, holding a tangle of streamers: “Safety is for
non-birthday people.”
Ray taped up a sign that said:
🎊
HAPPY BIRTHDAE EATHENN!!! 🎊
Ethan looked at it proudly. “Spelling doesn’t matter when
you’re legendary.”
Lucy groaned. “It matters to my eyeballs.”
LLoC Quotes
“Today… I am unstoppable.”
“Happy birthday, bro! I made breakfast!”.... “How do you burn cereal?”... “Science.”
“...You’ve been awake for ten minutes.”... “And accomplished chaos already!”
“This is a safety hazard.”... “Safety is for non-birthday people.”
“Spelling doesn’t matter when you’re legendary.”... “It matters to my eyeballs.”
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